The Last Remaining Political Speech

In the interest of full disclosure, before I launch into my thoughts about Melania Trump’s convention speech, I think it is important to tell you whom I plan to vote for in the upcoming Presidential election. At this moment my charming and faithful dog Annabell is my top choice as a write-in candidate. Yes, I am among the disgruntled, which requires the giant assumption that I was ever gruntled. Yet, despite my lack of enthusiasm for any Presidential candidate short of the entertainment value of the large rubber boot perched atop the head of Vermin Supreme, I’m about to defend Melania’s alleged ‘plagiarized’ speech. Well, maybe not defend, but at least explain why her speech was so similar to Michelle Obama’s. The reason is actually very basic. It’s the same reason all beer is ‘refreshing’, all mattresses lead to ‘better sleep’, and hamburgers are always ‘juicy and seasoned to perfection’. Presidents are

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