conspiracy theories

All posts tagged conspiracy theories

conspiracyI’m all for a good conspiracy theory but…

By Holly A. Bell

My husband and I found ourselves with matching injuries this week: Severely bruised and swollen right shins and sore knees. There was a lot of limping and no one to feel sorry for us. His injury was the result of a tray full of food and a flight of stairs in a Japanese McDonalds, while mine involved ice and the running board of my car at an Alaska Avalanche game (Go Avs!). They say you start to look and act like your spouse over time, but we agreed we had probably taken it a little too far this time.

At one point, legs elevated and packed in ice, we wondered if something might be broken and if we were going to need to see a doctor. The problem? While our injuries were easily explained, who was going to believe us? What would people think? Had we been kicking each other or engaging in some weird game. We agreed it would look a little odd for us to both show up looking the way we did. I asked my husband if he was sure it happened the way we thought it did? Is it possible we had both been abducted by aliens and had some strange test performed? Perhaps they were trying to figure out how we managed to walk on two legs rather than hover above the ground? After much discussion of other conspiracy theories that could have caused us to end up like this we decided to give our injuries a little more time to heal before seeking professional help, no sense in causing a fuss.

On the theme of conspiracy theories I have confirmed this week that a lot of people have them. Several of these people read this blog and suspect I am part of more than one conspiracy. I wish my life were that exciting. Without going into great detail about individual conspiracy theories, let me just make some statements that will hopefully dispel a few. Although I realize if I’m involved you won’t consider me a valid source.

  1. There is no government conspiracy covering up the fact that there are oil reserves in Central Park. No, Alaskan’s do not want to drill there.
  2. The Earned Income Tax credit does allow low and moderate-income households to receive a refund greater than the amount of tax they owe. For example, if they owed $800 in total taxes they would get a refund of that $800 plus an additional $500 for a total refund of $1300. Yes, it is possible to profit from the income tax system. On a related note, the Alternative Minimum Tax is another way middle-income taxpayers end up paying a greater amount of tax then their deductions allow. Thanks to the AMT not all your deductions will be counted.
  3. It’s true I do support the military and intelligence communities, at least in spirit. I suspect some of their best work is never known about, but they neither tell me nor ask for my advice.
  4. And finally, the rich are NOT out to get you. They don’t have conventions where they sit around wringing their hands trying to figure out how to deprive you of your civil rights. Regardless of capitalism’s flaws, it is a heck of a lot better than feudalism, the system it replaced. Give me private property rights, profit, competitive markets, voluntary exchange, and the right to accumulate capital any day. That’s the great thing about capitalism, we all have the right to participate and succeed or fail.

Have a great weekend everyone and remember, if you don’t understand it, it’s probably a conspiracy.

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Image courtesy of Basketman.

I had no intention of posting every day this week, but apparently I don’t know when to be quiet. Some of the comments Mrs. Fanshaw made on my 3rd grade report card are starting to make sense. She wrote that I “like to talk to my neighbors when I should be working”. Well, don’t we all. If you get caught reading this at work blame me, I’ve been a bad influence for decades.

My original intention was to post something bordering on serious near the beginning of the week and something light on Fridays. That’s still my intention, but I make no promises. Since it’s Friday, here’s a couple of light items for your consideration.

My hometown newspaper the, Beaver Dam Daily Citizen, reports one man is in jail following a dispute over an ice shanty. Apparently the two men were planning to start a business to make and sell ice shanties, but something went terribly wrong. The man was arrested for allegedly bludgeoning his business partner over the head multiple times causing him to bleed. This is yet one more risk small business owners must overcome during these difficult economic times. What else could go wrong for Main Street?

For you conspiracy theorists out there I have a great website for you: www.contrailscience.com. Whether you believe the government is experimenting on you by dispersing mind control drugs in the contrails of jets (known as ‘chemtrails’) or, if you’re pretty certain these people are ingesting their own pharmaceuticals, this site has something for you. Heck, it must have a little something for everyone as one discussion thread has 54,831 views and 365 comments. I’ve obviously chosen the wrong topics to write about. I also appreciate the site’s “politeness policy” that includes a warning not to talk about other conspiracy theories unless they have a “direct contrail connection”. What would those be exactly? I’m hoping someone can clue me in.

On that note, talk to your neighbors at work, and have a great weekend everyone!