By Holly A. Bell
My husband and I found ourselves with matching injuries this week: Severely bruised and swollen right shins and sore knees. There was a lot of limping and no one to feel sorry for us. His injury was the result of a tray full of food and a flight of stairs in a Japanese McDonalds, while mine involved ice and the running board of my car at an Alaska Avalanche game (Go Avs!). They say you start to look and act like your spouse over time, but we agreed we had probably taken it a little too far this time.
At one point, legs elevated and packed in ice, we wondered if something might be broken and if we were going to need to see a doctor. The problem? While our injuries were easily explained, who was going to believe us? What would people think? Had we been kicking each other or engaging in some weird game. We agreed it would look a little odd for us to both show up looking the way we did. I asked my husband if he was sure it happened the way we thought it did? Is it possible we had both been abducted by aliens and had some strange test performed? Perhaps they were trying to figure out how we managed to walk on two legs rather than hover above the ground? After much discussion of other conspiracy theories that could have caused us to end up like this we decided to give our injuries a little more time to heal before seeking professional help, no sense in causing a fuss.
On the theme of conspiracy theories I have confirmed this week that a lot of people have them. Several of these people read this blog and suspect I am part of more than one conspiracy. I wish my life were that exciting. Without going into great detail about individual conspiracy theories, let me just make some statements that will hopefully dispel a few. Although I realize if I’m involved you won’t consider me a valid source.
- There is no government conspiracy covering up the fact that there are oil reserves in Central Park. No, Alaskan’s do not want to drill there.
- The Earned Income Tax credit does allow low and moderate-income households to receive a refund greater than the amount of tax they owe. For example, if they owed $800 in total taxes they would get a refund of that $800 plus an additional $500 for a total refund of $1300. Yes, it is possible to profit from the income tax system. On a related note, the Alternative Minimum Tax is another way middle-income taxpayers end up paying a greater amount of tax then their deductions allow. Thanks to the AMT not all your deductions will be counted.
- It’s true I do support the military and intelligence communities, at least in spirit. I suspect some of their best work is never known about, but they neither tell me nor ask for my advice.
- And finally, the rich are NOT out to get you. They don’t have conventions where they sit around wringing their hands trying to figure out how to deprive you of your civil rights. Regardless of capitalism’s flaws, it is a heck of a lot better than feudalism, the system it replaced. Give me private property rights, profit, competitive markets, voluntary exchange, and the right to accumulate capital any day. That’s the great thing about capitalism, we all have the right to participate and succeed or fail.
Have a great weekend everyone and remember, if you don’t understand it, it’s probably a conspiracy.
Image courtesy of Basketman.